Girl Code | January 18, 2021

Hello hello. Happy January. I’m stuck in Covid Hell.

Ha. Just kidding. I mean, not kidding about being stuck in Covid hell, but I guess it’s not all bad. My husband tested positive for Covid last Monday so since then he’s been quarantined in the basement while the kids and I have been living upstairs trying to make the best out of a crappy situation. I’ve never wished for warmer weather or time to go by faster than I have these past 7 days. Thankfully my husband’s symptoms were very mild and he’s been able to continue working, watching fishing and hunting shows and of course he’s gotten some much needed rest over the last week or so. Ha.

Myself on the other hand have managed to keep both kids alive, only lose my shit 3 or 4 times a day, cook dinner every night, clean behind my appliances, listen to two audible books, watch the Divergent series, apply for my real estate license, do laundry, clean my kids rooms and be 100% THAT snack bitch 4000x times a day. I’m livin’ it up. Clowns.

I remember back when I had my day job and Ryan was so worried about me getting Covid and us being in this situation. I never honestly thought he would be the one to get it. But here we are. And it sucks. Seriously though, I’m thankful he doesn’t have it really bad and has been in good spirits for the most part of it. And I secretly giggle every time I put his dinner at the top of the stairs because it’s like I’m feeding the troll under the bridge and it makes me laugh. Anything to keep me going y’all. Don’t judge. I love the troll.

My test results came back negative today even though the entire weekend I was sure I had it. But it seems like my symptoms are just normal Kentucky allergy/cold bullshit that I get this time of year every year. Yay.

I started this blog piece with a clear intention and now it’s sidetracked into a Covid update. Oops. That’s not why we’re here. But this is my blog, so whatever. It’s my update.

Yesterday I started listening to this book called Girl Code by Cara Leyba and immediately I was enthralled by the message this book sends. I’m only a few chapters in but this book has gotten my attention in more ways than one. Not only because I’m an entrepreneur. In this book she preaches and talks about the respect women should have for one another ESPECIALLY if they’re in the same industry. So many times we’re looking at what our peers are doing and getting jealous and envious and maybe even throwing some shade but there is absolutely no reason for this because YOU have the exact ability to bring your own version of something to the table that will please an entirely different set of people. YOU are unique. YOU have your own set of talents and quirks that are going to appeal to people as well so why waste time and effort throwing shade at your peers. Notice I didn’t say competition. Community over competition. Always.

I FEEL like if people put the time and the effort into their own work that they did to hurt other people maybe they would be a lot more successful than they currently are. Perhaps if those same people cared more about their work, their appearance, their presence, their insecurities, their work ethic and less about what was on someone else’s tiktok/social media account, perhaps they would be a little bit happier in their lives/careers. But hey, what do I know?

I’ll never understand why so many women refuse to help other women out in the industry. Whether it be a corporate job or in the entreprenuership world. A clear and defining moment of this for me was a few years ago when I was trying to move up and better myself at my corporate job. I wrote a lengthy email to an upper management member that was respected in the industry. I expressed in my email that I admired her and I would love it if she would mentor me and help me be successful in the company. I literally poured my heart out in the email and was really looking for guidance and you know what she said?

Nothing. Fucking nothing.

I didn’t get a response back from her at all and it was never even acknowledged. At that moment, I knew I was on my own.

But I did end up successful, because I’m a hard worker and bust my ass but it just would have been nice for another woman in a male dominated field to stand up and sort of take me under her wing or whatever. But I didn’t get that, and it’s fine. I hope she’s well.

As an established photographer, a few years back I had a woman reach out to me for mentoring as she was just starting to get into photography. I was honestly flattered and wrote her back immediately. She was the sweetest person and she said that of the MULTIPLE photographers she messaged, I was the ONLY one to get back to her. I honestly can’t say I’m surprised. A lot of us have an issue with competition because the Louisville market has no shortage of amazing photographers. Anywho, we ended up meeting up and she shadowed me for a few weddings and shoots and I ended up gaining a friend and she ended up gaining a friend/colleague and mentor. It was a win/win all the way around. If I can help someone, even in some small way and my schedule and life allows for it, you can bet your ass I’m going to do it. I just don’t understand why it’s so hard to adopt this mentality. It’s 2021, set your ego to the side and adjust someone else’s crown for once.

As I continue to pursue my dreams as a BAMF photographer and newly (hopefully this week) licensed Realtor, I will continue to lift other women up and support them in their respective fields, even when we should “technically” be competition. Because I know what I bring to the table and I can ASSURE you, there is no one out there that is quite like me.


Link to Girl Code —> Here

Photo of me taken by my super amazing friend Ashley Benningfield at EmpowHER Studios.

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